The narcissist’s shared fantasy occurs with any type of source of supply of any kind (primary or secondary): friends, family, business associates, and intimate partners.
Grandiose narcissists react to animosity, contempt, and hostility by disengaging from the offender(banning/blocking, not responding). Only in the case of a shared fantasy, do they attempt to first stalk the perceived transgressor or to hoover her before they relent and disengage.
The same subspecies of narcissist react with animosity, contempt, and hostility to any act of friendliness, mindless adulation, offered empathy, support, succor, or advice as well as to any attempt at intimacy, including sexual advances. They regard such overtures and gestures as presumptuous, narcissistically injurious, and impertinent impositions.
Their ideal narcissistic supply source is commoditized and anonymous (faceless audience in lectures, views on videos). Their ideal sadistic supply (victim) on the other hand, is personal and intimate.
The collapsed somatic narcissist is incapable of leveraging his good looks, sculpted musculature, and sexual prowess to obtain narcissistic supply. If he is endowed with intelligence, he switches to the cerebral mode. If not, he becomes covert.
The etiology of such failure is complex. The narcissist may feel that he is engaging in a forbidden competition with a dominant parental figure. Or, he may have been rewarded in childhood for intellectual accomplishments while sex was decried as “dirty”.
In most cases, the failure is that of gender differentiation: the collapsed somatic narcissist is a latent homosexual or of fluid psychosexuality.
One possible outcome is celibacy or sexlessness within a relationship. Another solution is promiscuity (usually coupled with substance abuse). If the narcissist fails at both the somatic and the cerebral types, he undergoes mortification and becomes covert for good. If he has strong histrionic or borderline features, he is more likely to become a psychopath (secondary or primary) or a covert borderline.
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The narcissist is prone to plagiarism and to absconding with other people’s ideas and life’s work. But this instantly creates a cognitive-axiological dissonance because, counterfactually, the narcissist considers himself to be a “good, morally upright person”.
An intelligent narcissist resolves this dissonance by confabulating and reframing: he convinces himself that the stolen goods were his to start with, he came up with these ideas independently and long before anybody else did. This alternative history makes him eligible for the fruits of labor that is not his. This kind of narcissist convinces himself that his manufactured lies are the only reality and envious folks are out to deprive and disenfranchise him.
Dumb narcissists know that they are less than stellar. This ego dystonic realization makes it impossible for them to recast their misdeeds as merely reclaiming what’s theirs. So, they resort to aggression and to suppressing the truth. In the process, they deploy a host of primitive defense mechanisms, such as splitting, projection, magical thinking, and denial. They are inexorably transformed by their own antisocial acts into primary psychopaths.